not sure what to do

[bogieboy]

So since i was in the hospital, a nice young lady from new york (i am in chicago IL) contacted me because we sorta knew eachother from both being signed up for the cross country bike tour i am signed up for... Well she basically gave me her # so she could keep me company to burn the long hrs in the hospital...well...fast forward 3 weeks, and we pretty much havent gone a day without chatting since, and now all of a sudden i have these feelings for her...MASSIVE amounts of feelings.... She iscurrently at the start of the bike tour in los angeles CA, 2000 miles away, not helping those feelings....LOL We really seemed to click right off the bat, but at first i didnt even think anything about a relationship, given the fact that she lives 600mi away.... But now, a relationship is the only thing on my mind, and she seems like the perfect girl for me....i can not get her out of my head... BUT... I dont know what to do about it... I dont feel right trying to ask her out via facebook message or txt message (the main forms of communication we have used) brcause im a bit oldschool, i feel like i have to ask her to her face... But i wont see her in person for 6 weeks... So its just driving me CRAZY right now....

Would you guys pray for me, that God would give me the wisdom to know how to handle this, and to see His plan for all this, even thru my own emotions, which can really screw stuff up...LOL dont ask how i know that one...

[FastDoc]

My advise lies in my threads regarding the fate of the Harp Seal. Worth a 'search' on the forums...

I'm with the apostle Paul on this. If you are single and not called to be married, leave well enough alone;-)

I'd rather have a PE than a bride....

[bogieboy]

The problem lies in knowing wether you are called to be single or called to be married... LOL and given the current feelings, well... LOL

[FastDoc]

This is true.

For me the Spirit called me to be single but in my pride I followed my own wisdom and got married.

I was lucky to escape. Like the Millenium Falcon slipping out through the asteroid worm's teeth.

[bogieboy]

LOL thats why i am asking for prayer on the matter... That i could see thru my own emotions to see God's plan for my life...given my recent health struggles and God pulling me thru, i would say He has something pretty awesome in store for my life yet.... Im just along for the ride to find out His plans for me here on this earth!

[Weldangrind]

God definitely has bigger plans for you!

Do you happen to know if you and this young lady would be "equally yoked"? It's a difficult journey if you're not.

[bogieboy]

God definitely has bigger plans for you!

Do you happen to know if you and this young lady would be "equally yoked"? It's a difficult journey if you're not.

as in church affiliation? yes, we would be, she even goes to the same denomination of the Reformed church as i do... we havent specifically gone over points of doctrine, but i would say since she went from a very odd faith to the same type of church as i, we would agree on the things that matter most...

i can honestly say i will NEVER (again) have a relationship with a woman thats unequally yoked as far as faith is concerned...that was a rough one for me,because i loved her dearly, but i couldnt agree with her faith, and she couldnt agree with mine... ( the old baptist/protestant thing LOL) it was a very hard breakup for me to handle....i took it hard for the better part of a year...

[zingshoen]

mate don t worry, those feelings come to most of us once in a while in life, they are significant and deeply moving without having to mean anything. what it ll mean for you you will know only afterwards, in a while, in hindsight - meanwhile, take it easy.

[Weldangrind]

i can honestly say i will NEVER (again) have a relationship with a woman thats unequally yoked as far as faith is concerned...

I simply meant in terms of Christian / non-Christian. That's a tough road.

I don't choose to worry too much about doctrine.

Have you given her a phone call lately, or has all conversation been with a texting media?

[bogieboy]

I simply meant in terms of Christian / non-Christian. That's a tough road.

I don't choose to worry too much about doctrine.

Have you given her a phone call lately, or has all conversation been with a texting media?

As for doctrine, the important part is that she is a sinner saved by grace thru the death and ressurection of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ...beyond that is not a deal breaker... As for calling, i have not yet, but i intend to soon...

[FastDoc]

Just sayin'

[bogieboy]

LOL i hear ya... Some are called to be single, some are called to have a woman to keep them in line...LOL and to be honest, for the past 10-15 years i have felt that God has someone set aside for me, i am just waiting dor her to show up....LOL if this is the one i am sure God will give me the signs needed to see that, and also if she isnt the one, He will show me that as well... Its in His hands, not mine (thankfully!!! I always find a way to screw it up...LOL)

[bogieboy]

We (danita and i) talked via facebook again last night and i think she is feeling the same way i am about the possibility of a relationship...she seemed worried that i wouldnt like who she was in person (she is beautiful, but not the "american" definition of beautifal as in skinny as a rail)...shes a country girl, and i had to reassure her that beauty isnt skin deep...its whats inside that counts, like a sandwich...the bread you see just carries the good stuff...LOL And at that point she replied " Yes. I was worried. I've come from a background of people who judge. I've been told I care to much and there right the only one I should worry about what he thinks of me is God. : ) I'm just being really honest here. I'm trying to overcome my fears and I figure rather than overthinking things I'm just gonna put it all out there and see what happens. : )"


So we shall see what God has in store for me/us, and i know i covet your prayers for this matter, and i can say with certainty that Danita does as well, even though she doesnt know any of you guys, that Gods will be done in any relationship that may arise between us, and that we would be shining examples of Christian love in a dark and depraved world :thanks:

[Weldangrind]

Well said.

Personally, I'm grateful for curvy country girls. :D Prayers sent, and I'm hopeful that things will move forward in a rewarding way for you both.

[bogieboy]

Well said.

Personally, I'm grateful for curvy country girls. :D Prayers sent, and I'm hopeful that things will move forward in a rewarding way for you both.

i agree, LOL and thanks, it means a lot to me...not only the prayers, but knowing i can freely express my faith here... not many forums you can do that without getting ridiculed anymore... its good to have a Christian body of friends here!

heres a fun shot of her from sunday, they dipped thier back tires in the pacific to start off the bike tour, when they end on staten island in 9 weeks, they will ride into the atlantic ocean there aswell, so the Sea to sea tour is literally sea to sea...LOL in my opinion, sheisavery beautiful gal:):)

https://fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/1013786_10151535814644895_1491408623_n.jpg

[FastDoc]

I like the sandwich analogy. Very apt.

Asd we said in NJ, "Beauty is skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone." LOL!

Danita looks lovely.

Don't let my bad experiance turn you off. Pay attention but pray, and act accordingly. God was clear to me to not marry my ex, but I did anyway out of pride and arrogance and fear of worldly things. I was justly punished. I'm OK now.

[bogieboy]

Well, a bit of an update from tonight... We had talked about the possibility of a relationship a few days ago, an shortly thereafter i felt called to tell her that i had feelings for her, which i sincerely do, she didnt say much that night, but tonight she told me how she felt... Basically the same as me...we both miss eachother, yet we havent ever met face to face, and we went into a bit deeper discussion on the subject...so yeah...thanks for your prayers so far guys, please keep them coming, i am excited to see what God has in store for us!!!

[bogieboy]

Wow...update time already, first off thank you sooooooooo much guys for the prayers, we got on the topic of love, loving someone you have never met face to face, and what love really means to each of us...its a mighty powerful word aint it? Well extremely long story short (took the course of around 4 hrs...LOL) we love eachother dearly...we are also both scared out of our minds, but we both agree on several things...1. If God isnt the CENTER of the relationship, it WILL FAIL... 2. If we ever feel we cant trust eachother and God with this, it WILL FAIL, and it is all in His hands. 3. God put Danita into my life at a very specific time, for a very specific purpose... The first week or two i wasnt sure of what the purpose was, i am pretty sure i know now though... But it is still ALL IN HIS HANDS... And i am blessed just to be able to have a part in this story, however God sees fit for me to be in it...a month ago i wasnt sure if inwould make it to tomorrow...thats how serious my condition was... But now....wow, God is good, ALL THE TIME!!!!!!!!!!!:yay:

[Weldangrind]

Your faith is infectious. :tup: Thanks for the update; it's clear that God has plans for you.

[bogieboy]

Your faith is infectious. :tup: Thanks for the update; it's clear that God has plans for you.

If you only knew...LOL I have stared death in the face 3 times now in my short 25 yr life...and God has spared me each time... I attempted suicide when i was in my early teens, He didnt let me....5 yrs ago we were rearended by a semi doing way over the speed limit, skidded 75 ft before nailing us sitting at a light...not only did He spare all of us, He spared us from injury...the worst injury sustained was a tweaked back for myself, and i already had back problems before it... And now last monthacording to the statistics i should be dead right now, due to the size of the pulmonary embolism, i was told by my lung doc (the head of pulmonology at Ingalls Hospital) that it was by far the largest PE he had ever seen a patient come in ALIVE with.... As i understand it, over half my left lung was clotted, and almost a fourth of my right lung... God pulled me thru, how can i NOT have faith thats infectious...LOL you are talking to what should be a dead man based on statistics right now three times over...

[nyvdub89]

Amen boogie! Be greatful for His plan bud!

[bogieboy]

Amen boogie! Be greatful for His plan bud!

i am greatful to be alive...LOL His plan is just all a bonus...LOL:lmao:

[bogieboy]

well....just got off the phone with her...LOL its the little things in life that make you smile... she has a very pretty voice...and i am just floatin on cloud 9 right now...

[Weldangrind]

When do you get to meet her?

[bogieboy]

I get to actually meet her face to face the 27th....and then we get to see eachother for a week straight on the bike tour...LOL

[2LZ]

Showing up a tad late here, as always. Glad you're finding a bit of bliss. My only advise is just make sure you spend some serious time, in person, together prior to making any long-term promises to each other. You feel you know each other very well, and for what you've shared, you do, but there's far more to a person than e-communicating can provide. Have fun with it!....just don't rush. Trust in your faith to guide you but don't confuse it with hormones. I did that first time around and it had the same end result as Doc. Enjoy your time, bike ride together and enjoy each others company.....one day at a time.

[bogieboy]

Showing up a tad late here, as always. Glad you're finding a bit of bliss. My only advise is just make sure you spend some serious time, in person, together prior to making any long-term promises to each other. You feel you know each other very well, and for what you've shared, you do, but there's far more to a person than e-communicating can provide. Have fun with it!....just don't rush. Trust in your faith to guide you but don't confuse it with hormones. I did that first time around and it had the same end result as Doc. Enjoy your time, bike ride together and enjoy each others company.....one day at a time.

thanks for the advice, we get to spend all of next week together as a start, cycling from iowa city IA to grand rapids MI... and to be perfectly honest,i want to marry her...i want her in my life for the rest of my life, because of what she does to me...LOL she makes me be a better person, she pushes me to BE who i say i am, something that can be a struggle for me... honestly i have never been this open about my faith on a forum before, but she makes me want to share my faith, if that makes any sense... i KNOW she was placed in my life at a very specific time, when i needed comfort, she was there with scriptures... and the feelings i have for her, i cant even explain... other than love seems to find you when you least expect it...

i had no intentions of EVER having a long distance relationship as of a month and a half a go, because i was in one 6 yrs ago, and it didnt work out, and theres still pain from that to this day... heck i wasnt even actively pursuing getting a girlfriend, because i had other stuff that i wanted to do with my life... i wanted to build up my truck a certain way, have fun with it, etc... but, i could care less about the truck right now, other than its a a means to get to her...if that makes any sense...

[Weldangrind]

...heck i wasnt even actively pursuing getting a girlfriend

I think that's the key. None of this is in our time.

[tecnolli]

"I do not seek, i find."
Quote Pablo Picasso :)

[bogieboy]

I think that's the key. None of this is in our time.

i agree.... and i think thats why i feel the way i feel about her... i wasnt looking for her, and it just sorta happened, even though we werent looking for anything... i think i said before, theres just too many things that seem to be "coincidence" or that just happened to "work out" with this to think there isnt a Heavenly hand in it.... at least thats how i feel about it...i wasnt even considering a relationship, local or long distance, but one found me....LOL its all in Gods hands!

[Pliskin]

There is a guy called Sam Geppi, he can do chart compatibility for the two of you and see if you'll have any sticking issues. Good luck.

[bogieboy]

thanks for the offer, but ithink i will leave the matchmaking up to God...LOL not really big on the horoscopes and astrological prediction stuff...its in Gods hands...

[bogieboy]

Well guys, if you could say a prayer for me it would be greatly appreciated... Im a day and a half away from meeting her face to face, and my mind is going CRAZY.... Not only because im meeting her, but because of all the packing i still need to do to GET there....LOL

[bogieboy]

wow.... so much has happened in the past week or so... i have been from iowa city IA, all the way to holland MI, and its all been with the girl i adore... and, today, i asked her what she was thinking about the possibility of "us", and long story short, she said YES....so, i am embarking on a difficult but possibly VERRYYYYY rewarding journey of life, heading for the possibility of marriage...we both felt that it wouldnt be worth even trying if we didnt both think we could support one another, and really be able to understand/love eachother... spending a week together on a cross country bike trip is definitely a good way to realize if you can put up with eachother....LOL long days riding together, not ever in the best moods because of being so tired, and we still feel that it could work...i think this could be the start of an AWESOME journey... i truly hope this is what God has in store for us....i love her more than she can ever imagine....

[Weldangrind]

Wow! This is really moving in high gear.

[bogieboy]

Wow! This is really moving in high gear.

Niether of us believe in "casual dating"... We talked it thru during our rides together, and like i said, we both felt if we didnt think it COULD work out in marriage, that it would even be worth trying, so thats our perogative on it all... With how much we have talked this past week, my feelings of wanting to spend the rest of my life with her have only gotten stronger, and she feels like i could be the one (shes been very hesitant so far, and i can understand why... She has a lot of family issues, involving people that should have loved her walking out on her and her brothers, and has been very "on guard" with any sort of love ever since...)

[bogieboy]

If you cant tell, things are going good for both of us together....

http://i662.photobucket.com/albums/uu346/bogieboy01/20130804_183528_zps1072345d.jpg

[Weldangrind]

Wow! She looks good with a Canadian flag on her shirt. :)

[katoranger]

Wow! She looks good with a Canadian flag on her shirt. :)

I noticed that too.

How is your health holding up?

[FastDoc]

I can't recall seeing a happier couple :-)

I also like the shirts. I should get a similar one for my upcoming ride up North.

[bogieboy]

It doesnt matter whats on her shirt, she always looks good...LOL as for my health i am doing well! And we are currently working towards marriage... Still getting to know eachother, but we both feel thats where God is leading us, and we are constantly praying for His direction... Before i had to leave the tour we sat down together and prayed together about it all, that God would show us what to do... And asked His blessing on whatever relationship comes forth from this... We both feel that if God isnt central in the relationship, its destined to fail...

[Weldangrind]

I would agree. An unequally yoked couple (of any description) will likely have a tough time.

[katoranger]

Swedish?

[bogieboy]

Swedish?

Nope... I am full blooded dutch, and she is german/english...

Also we talked a good bit last night, and we both are thinking the same way...God is calling us to be together forever. Theres no ring on her hand yet, but that will all change shortly...LoL

Also the biggest hurdle we could see is the financial one, niether of us make a whole lot of money, and we didnt know where we would live once married... I talked to my parents about it, and they are going to basically give me the house thats on the property by my dads shop... It needs a LOT of work, since its been uninhabited for about 10 yrs and needs a roof, but man... First i get a woman tossed in my lap, now i get a house tossed in my lap...GodIS GOOD, ALL THE TIME!!!!!!!

But....she doesnt know about the house, hopefully i can keep that under wraps til her birthday in november....hehehe

[bogieboy]

I can't recall seeing a happier couple :-)

I also like the shirts. I should get a similar one for my upcoming ride up North.

If you want one, they just went on clearance from the webstore... All prceeds go to the cause of sea to sea as well, poverty relief across the world...

Shirts run same size as a t shirt roughly...i wear a largeish xl or a 2x t shirt, and i am wearing the 2x sized jersey in the pic, they also have matching shorts....

http://www.faithaliveresources.org/Products/CategoryCenter/CRSS!CM/cycling-jersey.aspx

[katoranger]

Dutch. I was close. I am from a Dutch background.

Great deal on the house.

[Weldangrind]

I talked to my parents about it, and they are going to basically give me the house thats on the property by my dads shop... It needs a LOT of work, since its been uninhabited for about 10 yrs and needs a roof, but man... First i get a woman tossed in my lap, now i get a house tossed in my lap...GodIS GOOD, ALL THE TIME!!!!!!!

Good score! Hopefully you can fix it up a bit before the big reveal. Do you have some friends at Church who would participate in a reno?

[bogieboy]

Good score! Hopefully you can fix it up a bit before the big reveal. Do you have some friends at Church who would participate in a reno?

well, i got giddy and told her about the possibility last night...LOL as for peopele to help out, i have a lot of connections between church and just work, since i work construction, LOL not to mention at some point i have done most all of what needs to be done in this house...

[Weldangrind]

It's terrific that you're blessed with the needed skillset. Perhaps you'd consider showing us the reno process in pics.

[bogieboy]

It's terrific that you're blessed with the needed skillset. Perhaps you'd consider showing us the reno process in pics.

Will do! I just hope theres no structural damage, theres one spot that seems to be sagging in the house, could just be age, seeing as its a 100+yr old farm house, but i want to be sure before putting a good bit of money into it....

[cheesy]

Just so ya know, Kent, a free house is like a free puppy or a free motorcycle(I have experience with both).

BTW, congrats.

[katoranger]

:hmm:Free cars too.

[Weldangrind]

Yes, but land is often prohibitively expensive.

[kmanharp]

hi man ive just kind of went threw this ive been saved for 12 years and i meet this girl that i didnt think was fell in love me her did great but god was a problem with her so i went one find anther girl that was chirstain and just over looked her that was not gods plans me and this girl got back together man i love her we going get married so if you hav feeling for this girl god will let you know so dont let her get away if thats how you feel

[bogieboy]

Well today is a happy day for me!!! Danita told me she got plane tickets to come out and see me the end of september!!!! we are making plans for me going out there some time in october too, and shes planning on coming out for thanksgiving...

[bogieboy]

Wow...she spent the weekend out here, best weekend of my life, as well as the hardest monday of my life... I cant tell you how difficult it is to stand in an airport and watch the person you love more than anything get on a plane and know that you wont see her for another month... I can say with authority that we are going to get married...not sure how soon yet, but its gonna happen...

[FastDoc]

Sounds literally like a match made in Heaven.

The only time I felt that way is when I met Martin The Cat at the Humane Society ;-)

You are both greatly blessed.

[Weldangrind]

I'm hopeful that everything goes well for you both.

[bogieboy]

Thanks guys, and doc, i completely agree... Theres no logical reason for a guy from chicago to fall in love with a girl from new york, without the "aid" of any sort of dating site or dating service, the only thing we can figure is it was the hand of God bringing us together... And she truly is my better half...

On a lighter note...we make such a cute couple...LOL

http://i662.photobucket.com/albums/uu346/bogieboy01/20130927_131416_zps5148f897.jpg

http://i662.photobucket.com/albums/uu346/bogieboy01/Crop1_zps65cc1439.jpg

[bogieboy]

Well gents, last night i sat down with her dad and had the "man to man talk".... And i recieves his blessing to marry his daughter! I promptly popped the question, and she said yes!

[Weldangrind]

Wow! Shortest courtship ever!

Congratulations to you both. :D

[FastDoc]

That was fast!

I guess contrary to the title of this thread, you ARE sure what to do. God bless you both. You do look happy together that's for certain.

[bogieboy]

thanks guys, we both felt God was calling us to this purpose, and its looking like the actual event will occur sometime june-august, because her dad needs her for planting this coming spring...but after that, we are good to go, and it gives him time to find help for the harvest....

[bogieboy]

And....the ring... Finally got the pic how we wanted it...LOL

http://i662.photobucket.com/albums/uu346/bogieboy01/IMG_20131028_172202_zps687b5395.jpg

[cheesy]

Hey, Kid. You are making the lot of us look bad (he said tongue in cheek) by bestowing her that doorknob.:tup:


Congrats and best wishes from an old fart fast approaching 39 years of marriage.

[FastDoc]

That's a rock!

Pretty hand too.

Ah, young love.

I've not that since I met Sophia.

[bogieboy]

My how time flies... hard to believe this spring we are coming up on our 6 year anniversary.... feels like just yesterday there were those jittery butterflies in my stomach to meet her for the first time...

[2LZ]

Congrats on the 6 years! It's amazing that most women would put up with us meatheads for more than 6 months!

[bogieboy]

Congrats on the 6 years! It's amazing that most women would put up with us meatheads for more than 6 months!

not gonna lie, last year was a real rough patch due to my own stupidity (we will just leave it at that) but things are on an upswing which i am very thankful for!

[Bruces]

First time I saw this thread ,glad it worked out for you ,I honestly thought you were doomed when you said you wanted to marry her before meeting her in person ,glad I kept reading and found out I was wrong .Congrats on 6 years ,that’s a good start to the rest of your lives .

[2LZ]

I honestly thought you were doomed when you said you wanted to marry her before meeting her in person ,
I remember those days....but apparently bogieboy is smarter than the rest of us!

[culcune]

Fastdoc was around to witness this! I don't recall this thread for some reason...Congrats on the 6 years, btw.