Been A Rough Couple Weeks

[cheesy]

It has been rough going at Chez Fromage the past two weeks. On the 15th, my wife's dad had a massive stroke and heart attack. Because he chose to live away from family, he wasn't found until the 17th. Because of the weather, it took my wife and I three hours to drive the 50 miles to the hospital and we were the first to arrive. He was still in the ER when we got there and after being assessed of his condition, we knew there was no coming out of it for him. Because my wife's mom lives in a bubble of naivete, it took quite a bit of convincing that he wasn't going to regain consciousness. The plug was pulled on Thursday and he hung on until Sunday. I happened to be the one to see his last breathe.

While this was going on, my favorite,and last, crazy Uncle, who has been in Hospice for several months, decided to spend his last days at home with his family. He passed on Monday. His funeral is next Tuesday.

Add to this, my folks were flying Costa Rica from Minneapolis and decided to visit my Moms' sister on the way to the airport. They found her sitting in her unheated house, with a full fridge, starving and disoriented. They got her hospitalized and notified her in laws what was happening. She has been moved to a nursing home and we have been told that it may have been a suicide attempt.

Because I was supposed to be in Dallas last week, I postponed the trip until this week. My wife told me to go anyway because I spent more time at the hospital with her dad than the rest of the family, just offering moral support and comic relief. His funeral was yesterday.

This past Tuesday, after arriving in Dallas, I begged off seeing the customer that afternoon because of the stress of the past week and went right to my hotel. While having dinner, my wife called to tell me my youngest collapsed at work and was in the ER. I don't normally hit the sauce while on a business trip, but I saw no reason not to this time. A couple good stiff drinks and I could see why some folks become alcoholics.

Wednesday, the kid was released from the hospital and admonished that tea is not recommended to rehydrate ones self. She ended up with a good knot on her head and a chipped tooth from smacking her noodle on her desk on the way down to the floor.

I cannot wait until my vacation at the end of March.

[Killerbracing]

Sorry to hear that Cheesy! It seems like shitsville hits in spurts. My thoughts and prayers are with you. And yes sometimes a cold one helps, just don't wake up needing one!

[Daeouse]

Man, when it rains, it pours! I sincerely hope things get better soon. To lose family like that is a terrible thing indeed. I wish I could say something inspiring and witty, but I can't. I can only advise sharing your burden as much as possible, do what you can, and cry if you must. Don't bottle it up, and don't let the bottle lie to you. Good luck, man!

[FastDoc]

My Lord, what you and your family are going through. Prayers sent. You are the strength of your family, I'm glad for that.

I'm glad you allowed us in on your situation. I consinder you a friend and I want to be part of your support network, along with all the other guys here.

[Krasi_BG]

And just like that, everything else start to seem so insignificant...

I sure hope after this steep "down", there's an equal, if not steeper, "up" just around the corner for you. There must be! So just hold tight to get to it!

[Weldangrind]

Because my wife's mom lives in a bubble of naivete, it took quite a bit of convincing that he wasn't going to regain consciousness.

My Mom lives within a similar bubble. I can appreciate how hard these times can be when you have to become a counsellor for someone else.

I'm sorry to hear about the passing of your FIL and your favourite crazy Uncle. I hope that your Aunt gets the care and nutrition she needs in the nursing home. I'm glad to hear that your daughter is on the mend, and I'm grateful it wasn't much worse.

With your permission, I'll remember you in my prayers.

[SpudRider]

Cheesy,

I'm very sorry to hear of the recent deaths in your family. Please accept my sincere condolences.

Please know you are a valued member of this community, and we love having you with us. I will remember you and your family in my prayers.

[cheesy]

I want to thank each of you. Even though I am not much of a practicing anything anymore, I appreciate the prayers.

The hardest part of all this has been watching my MIL. She worshiped the ground he walked on. The rest of us saw him for what he was and it wasn't pretty. He'd never even seen his great grandchildren. Didn't want too. The airing of dirty laundry has started. Secrets are coming out now about him that my MIL refuses to believe. Secrets about my MIL are coming out, too. Not to sound crass, but after what my wife and I put up with from her parents since we started dating in high school, we are going to sit back with a large bowl of popcorn and watch the fireworks.

My crazy Uncle, on the other hand, had led a pretty decent life. He lived for his family and friends. He loved the outdoors. After his retirement, he built Eastern Bluebird bird houses and put them up in public parks where he lived. His oldest daughter is like a little sister to me. His youngest, well, we are cousins who live 1000 miles apart. He is going to be missed.

My Aunt, well, she's been placed in a nursing home. Apparently, she suffered several small strokes. She may get better, but will never fully recover.

My kid, is mostly embarrassed. This happened to her once before about ten years ago. She knows the signs, but said 'she was too busy' to get something to drink. Thirty years old and I still have to make like Dr. Phil and ask "What were you thinking?"

Again, thank you all.

[Weldangrind]

On another topic, do you plan to get away on your vacation in March?

[cheesy]

On another topic, do you plan to get away on your vacation in March?

Weld-Plans are to sleep til 8, breakfast til 9, Perry Mason and Hawaii Five Oh til 11, then figure out what we're gonna do for the rest of the day. Oh, and tell work I will be in cellphone hell and unavailable. I've done it before.

[Weldangrind]

Staycations can be very therapeutic. I use them to do a little work on the house or in the shop, in addition to catching up on whatever is on the PVR.

[Killerbracing]

Stay cations are very relaxing. I only get a full weekend off every other week. On those weekends I do as I please. It feels very free.

[cheesy]

We buried my Uncle today. With over 500 folks in attendance, I guess he led a life well lived.

[Daeouse]

We buried my Uncle today. With over 500 folks in attendance, I guess he led a life well lived.

Bravo. Its good to hear he had such a positive influence on so many lives.

[Weldangrind]

500! The average is 200; he obviously had a significant impact on the people around him. My sincere condolences.

[Killerbracing]

He touched a lot of people. I drove by a funeral today that had maybe 20 people there. Makes you wonder about people, things and life in general.

[cheesy]

My Uncle was involved in a lot of things with a lot of different people and touched a lot of lives. On of his former students made the trip from Australia to attend the funeral. After he retired from his position at UW-Madison, he and my Aunt did missionary work all over the world, mostly in Central Africa and South America. Along with his Bluebird project, it's amazing he even had free time.

My fil was the complete opposite. He was always telling people how much smarter he was than anyone else and the world should revolve around him. When boyfriends came into his daughters lives, he became a tyrant. The three of us who wouldn't tolerate his BS caused him to disown his kids. He had been married four times. My wife's mom was the first 'other woman'. He had an affair with her sister. He divorced the mil to hook up with one of his students that was younger than his youngest kid. It took eight years, but that student divorced him. That was a big blow to his ego. For whatever reason, he remarried my mil but chose to live in his own place, away from everyone. In the end, I think his closest friends were the ones on either side of his bar stool. My wife told me there were maybe 25 people at the funeral.

[Weldangrind]

There are lessons to be learned from those examples.

[SpudRider]

Amen! :)

[Daeouse]

Indeed.

[cheesy]

It's been a few weeks now and the MIL has more or less accepted things as they are and will be. My wife and I are on vacation this week and have made two trips to the FILs house to clean things up to sell the place and get his possessions sorted. One more trip this week and our part should be finished.

My wife's youngest sister is dealing with all the paperwork and has just been a jewel. For the guy being a gold plated jackass, he did leave the MIL very well off. As the MIL is very naive when it comes to money management, the accounts have been set up that all checks must be countersigned by either the youngest sister or my wife. Middle sister can't be trusted.

Back to our part. I cleaned out the garage and just shook my head at what I found. Four chainsaws, three electric and one gas. No trees on the property. Two snow blowers for a 16' x 40' drive. JD 42" mower for a 60' x 90' lot. 24" rear tine tiller and no garden. Over a dozen cordless drills with no chargers, not to mention many other cordless tools without batteries or chargers. I swear he bought all his wrenches and screwdrivers from Dollar General. Boxes and boxes of screws and nails.

My wife spent two days cleaning the kitchen. She filled two 24" x 18" x 12" cartons with medications, which may explain the garage. Six large trash bags with junk from the kitchen drawers plus another six from the fridge. I think there is a pick up load of boxes for Goodwill just from the kitchen. We think there may be two or three truck loads from the rest of the house.

We sat down with the MIL last week to divide up the possessions. The youngest sister is very well off and said there wasn't a thing she wanted. MIL offered the electronics, furniture, and appliances to the middle sister. She offered the yard equipment and camera equipment to us.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v493/bikamper/2014-03-22143638_zpscc17d275.jpg (http://smg.photobucket.com/user/bikamper/media/2014-03-22143638_zpscc17d275.jpg.html)
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v493/bikamper/2014-03-26124213_zps803b8e94.jpg (http://smg.photobucket.com/user/bikamper/media/2014-03-26124213_zps803b8e94.jpg.html)

Last things to be dealt with are the vehicles and this is where the infighting has started. No one really wants the rental fleet Impala LT but everyone wants the crew cab Silverado LT. We offered to buy it because my truck is 19 years old and has 360,000 miles on it. Middle sister got snotty about it, said it should be given to her, and made threats. So youngest sister and I suggested to just take both vehicles to Carmax and unload them. MIL can have all the proceeds. Problem solved.

I am so glad that my folks sat us all down and settled this stuff years ago.

[Daeouse]

Every family seems to have one of those siblings. . . my most sincere sympathies.

[SpudRider]

I'm glad you got everything squared away, Cheesy. :)

[Weldangrind]

You're frightening me, Cheesy. That's similar to what I'm in for when my Dad passes.

[katoranger]

My parents are already taking care of things. We have all been given the oppurtunity to claim items we would like to have.

I think you did the right thing by selling the cars.

[cheesy]

You're frightening me, Cheesy. That's similar to what I'm in for when my Dad passes.

It may be wise to sit your folks down to get it settled now, Weld. They may not want to, but it makes it easier for all concerned.

I know I was uncomfortable when my folks sat the four of us down, but once things got going it went smoothly. The alcohol helped.:) It was a good thing they did, too. They found out they were leaving the wrong things to the wrong kids. My brother is a mechanical engineer/designer and an avid hunter. I am a mechanic and don't hunt often. Dad was going to leave the tools to my brother and the hunting rifles to me. We looked at each other and said, "Trade ya" at the same time.

One thing no one had an issue with was my Dad leaving his 1948 De Soto to my oldest daughter. When Shan was a little squirt, my folks took her all over the US with them, chasing down parts for that car. At six years old, she could tell a 46 from a 48, and De Soto from a Dodge, Plymouth, or a Chrysler. I still can't. She was with Dad when the car won its first trophy. It was a given.

[Weldangrind]

Cheesy, you're right (as usual), but my Dad won't have a serious conversation with me. My only brother passed 19 years ago, so everything my folks have would go to me anyway.

The frightening part for me is the amount of clutter I'd have to deal with in the house. Ugh.

[katoranger]

Just post in the free section on craigslist.

[cheesy]

I think you did the right thing by selling the cars.

Well, this changed. MIL called late last night and told us that she was so upset with her middle daughters' behavior that the pickup was ours. We wanted her to be sure she was doing the right thing by spiting 'Little Miss Woe-Is-Me'(the attitude was old 30 years ago). She said she was, but we got her to agree to let us buy it.

Weld-If Pops won't discuss it, you might ask him to at least let you know where everything is located and to get his property somewhat organized. Otherwise, you may end up doing what we did this morning.

We located two more bank accounts today that the fil had told no one about. We thought the accounts were all settled but now we need to start the process all over again. We also found some fairly new looking Schlage keys and have no idea what they are for. We are now going through the accounts to see if there is a storage locker somewhere.

Sheesh. At least I know I'll need a 53' trailer or two for my folks place.

[Killerbracing]

I'm only 36 and I look around my place and think "This is gonna make one heck of an estate auction."

[cheesy]

I'm only 36 and I look around my place and think "This is gonna make one heck of an estate auction."

This has what got us, Mrs. C and I, to start getting things organized at Chez Fromage so our kids don't have to go what we've been going through.

You're just a year older than my oldest.

[Killerbracing]

You're just a year older than my oldest.

That's cool. I guess I'm an old 36. Lol I prefer talking to people that know what is going on, how to fix things etc. I guess I've lead an adventuresome life so far.
But lately I've been restless. Don't know if the 9-5 is killing me or the domestication. Lol

[katoranger]

36 also. Sometimes I think I prefer to hang out with those that are older too.

[Killerbracing]

36 also. Sometimes I think I prefer to hang out with those that are older too.

Both of my grandfathers are still going! The WW2 vet thinks he can buy c4 at the hardware store. Wish we could!

[SpudRider]

My father was a WWII vet, but he passed away about ten years ago. There aren't many WWII vets still alive. You are lucky to be able to share his wisdom. :)

I agree with you regarding the C4.

:hehe:

[cheesy]

I mentioned camera equipment. Mrs. Cheesys' dad had some crap stuff and stuff that exceeded his capabilities.

This Yashica Mat-124 is a pretty nice piece of kit.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v493/bikamper/2014-03-31193200_zps797c89c0.jpg (http://smg.photobucket.com/user/bikamper/media/2014-03-31193200_zps797c89c0.jpg.html)
Best we can figure out is that he bought it in either Hong Kong or Japan in 1969 or 1970 while he was on leave when he served in Vietnam. Also, going through his boxes of negatives, it appears that only two rolls of film ever were shot through it.

[Killerbracing]

I love old cameras. I really miss photo albums.

[Killerbracing]

My father was a WWII vet, but he passed away about ten years ago. There aren't many WWII vets still alive. You are lucky to be able to share his wisdom. :)

I agree with you regarding the C4.

:hehe:

There's no greater guys than that from that generation Spud. Kinda makes me think that us in the generations since have gotten soft. Really, have we stared death in the face, lived to tell about it? The blessings are watching your kids grow. But you can still see they are bored.

[SpudRider]

There's no greater guys than that from that generation Spud. Kinda makes me think that us in the generations since have gotten soft. Really, have we stared death in the face, lived to tell about it? The blessings are watching your kids grow. But you can still see they are bored.

I agree with you 100 percent, KB. The people who survived the Great Depression and World War II are definitely The Great Generation. :) I'm sorry to see them pass away. They were always serving the community and looking to do their duty for God and country. They never looked for a hand out, but were always willing to give someone a hand up. :tup: