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View Full Version : Swine flu mutates, becomes Zombie flu.


knothead
05-04-2009, 03:32 PM
I hope everyone is stocked up on ammo... or at least have an axe handy!



BBC website. (http://bouncewith.me.uk/europe/8027043.htm)





There has been a small outbreak of “zombism” in London due to mutation of the H1N1 virus into new strain: H1Z1.

Similar to a scare originally found in Cambodia back in 2005, victims of a new strain of the swine flu virus H1N1 have been reported in London.

After death, this virus is able to restart the heart of it’s victim for up to two hours after the initial demise of the person where the individual behaves in extremely violent ways from what is believe to be a combination of brain damage and a chemical released into blood during “resurrection.”

The World Health Organization (WHO) has raised the alert to phase six, its highest level, and advised governments to activate pandemic contingency plans.

In Mexico, the epicentre of the outbreak, President Felipe Calderon urged people to stay at home over the next five days.


CONFIRMED CASES
Map
Mexico: 168 suspected deaths - eight confirmed - 12 zombies
US: one death, at least 91 confirmed cases
New Zealand: 13 confirmed cases
Canada: 19 confirmed cases
UK: 5 confirmed cases
Spain: 10 confirmed cases
Germany: 3 confirmed cases
Israel, Costa Rica: 2 confirmed cases each
The Netherland, Switzerland, Austria, Peru: 1 confirmed case each

Mapping the outbreak
Mexican economy squeezed by flu
Mexico: First swine flu cases
Africa awaits two swine flu tests

There are many cases elsewhere - including the US, Canada, Latin America, Europe, Israel, and New Zealand.

BBC health correspondent Mark McGrith says the raising of the WHO alert on Wednesday suggests a global epidemic, or pandemic, is imminent.

In the latest developments:

* The Netherlands confirms its first case of zombie swine flu, in a three-year-old boy recently returned from Mexico. After passing away early this morning, he rose from the dead and lunged at his mother.
* Ghana has become the latest country to ban pork imports as a precaution against swine flu, though no cases have been found in the West African country
* China's health minister says that the country's scientists have developed a "sensitive and fast" test for spotting swine flu in conjunction with US scientists and the WHO. The country has recorded no incidence of the flu yet. There methods, however, have been uneffective in spotting the H1Z1 strain.

At the meeting of health ministers in Luxembourg, a French proposal for a continent-wide travel advisory for Mexico will be discussed.


SYMPTOMS - WHAT TO DO
Swine flu symptoms are similar to those produced by ordinary seasonal flu - fever, cough, sore throat, body aches, chills and fatigue
If you have flu symptoms and recently visited affected areas of Mexico, you should seek medical advice
If you suspect you are infected, you should stay at home and take advice by telephone initially, in order to minimise the risk of infection
If you feel yourself passing away, then notice your strength and vigor returning at an alarming rate, please attempt to restrain yourself to prevent infection and harm to others.

Q&A: What is swine flu?
Swine flu: How serious a threat?
Can masks help spread?
The quest for a swine flu vaccine

It is unclear whether the EU executive has the power to impose a travel ban.

Several countries have restricted travel to Mexico and many tour operators have cancelled holidays.

Other members are resisting calls to implement travel bans or close borders, on the grounds - backed by the WHO - that there is little evidence of their efficacy.

The EU ministers will also try to agree on how to refer to the new virus.

The European Commission has been calling it "novel flu", replacing the word "swine" to avoid prompting a fall in demand for pork and bacon.

On Wednesday, Egypt began a mass slaughter of its pigs - even though the WHO says the virus was now being transmitted from human to human.

Have you been affected by the zombie strain of swine flu? You can send your experiences using the form below. You can also send your questions about the decision to raise the alert and we will send it to our health experts.

A selection of your comments may be published, displaying your name and location unless you state otherwise in the box below.

culcune
05-04-2009, 04:11 PM
Swine flu symptoms are similar to those produced by ordinary seasonal flu - fever, cough, sore throat, body aches, chills and fatigue

If you have flu symptoms and recently visited affected areas of Mexico, you should seek medical advice

If you suspect you are infected, you should stay at home and take advice by telephone initially, in order to minimise the risk of infection

If you feel yourself passing away, then notice your strength and vigor returning at an alarming rate, please attempt to restrain yourself to prevent infection and harm to others. 8O 8O 8O 8O 8O





:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

TeamCheap
05-04-2009, 04:16 PM
I think 2/3rds of the guys I work with have it and have had it for a long time as they have shown the Zombie Swineflu symptoms for a very long time now.

.................................................. ..................wait wait......hold up, I forgot that they are union, city employees so its just the normal Zombie work ethics.

sorry

culcune
05-04-2009, 04:18 PM
If I remember the movie, Dawn of the Dead (the original, not the quirky recent remake) it would be beneficial to make yourself at home in the nearest shopping mall; preferably one that conveniently has a sporting goods store well-stocked in guns and ammunition, plenty of restaurants, trucks to block all outside entrances, a stolen helicopter, and an ice-rink to dispose of the bodies in a sanitary way--and if a biker group rides through and tries to take over, make sure you have good vantage points to fight them before they can enter your mall!! And may God have mercy on our souls, especially if we are to be the ones to rise up from the dead to feed on the flesh of the living!!!!

knothead
05-04-2009, 05:41 PM
I think 2/3rds of the guys I work with have it and have had it for a long time as they have shown the Zombie Swineflu symptoms for a very long time now.

.................................................. ..................wait wait......hold up, I forgot that they are union, city employees so its just the normal Zombie work ethics.

sorry


Heeeeyyy! Not all union members make $2500 an hour eating doughnuts ya know!
Unions can get out of hand, but if it weren't for the early unions getting labour laws enacted we'd all be kneeling before our corporate overlords.. at $2 a day..... uh, oh yeah.... we do that anyway. Hmmph, nevermind!

knothead
05-04-2009, 05:46 PM
If I remember the movie, Dawn of the Dead (the original, not the quirky recent remake)--------------

I liked the remake better than the original.
IMHO, the absolute greatest Zombie movie ever made was 28 Weeks Later. The zombies in that movie were downright predatory.... you need to rent it if you like that sort of thing.
Second best zombie flick; Resident Evil (the sequels sucked though).
Third best; Dawn of The Dead (remake)
Fourth; Shawn of the Dead (I still laugh and I've seen it several times.).

FastDoc
05-04-2009, 08:07 PM
It's the age old question. AR or AK. I'll stack the odds in my favor and use both. No zombie's gonna get my ChinaBike.

I can hear them now "Must eat drains. Oil drains"

phil
05-04-2009, 09:31 PM
ar or ak :?:
ar gets my vote if i had to carry lots of ammo and they zombies arent real tuff :lol: due to the results of the recent election i think many are "stocked up" what do swine flu zombies eat left overs, slop, brains. i just need to know if the barbeque sauce i stocked is going to go bad before........feeling dizzy, have to go aarrrrr 8O

Dragon
05-04-2009, 10:58 PM
Why do zombies only attack healthy humans? How can they tell the difference between non-zombie and one of their own?

knothead
05-04-2009, 11:24 PM
Why do zombies only attack healthy humans? How can they tell the difference between non-zombie and one of their own?


http://zombiehunters.org/forum/

Scroll down for the "Zombie Biology" forum.

phil
05-04-2009, 11:41 PM
and somebody said i was crazy for riding a chinese motorcycle 8O

Qingdao
05-05-2009, 01:38 AM
Bump ARs or AKs... ENFIELD MKIII on top of a building (with shoty back up). 8)

SpudRider
05-05-2009, 01:48 AM
I'm realllllly starting to worry about you guys... 8O :roll: :wink:

Spud :)

Qingdao
05-05-2009, 03:36 AM
I'm realllllly starting to worry about you guys... 8O :roll: :wink:

Spud :)

Zombie conversations are a regular occurance at my table of freinds. You know the normal "what if Zombies atacked the Huddle House would we book it to Wally World or just stick it out inside?"

culcune
05-05-2009, 10:20 AM
My favorite quote from the "article":

If you feel yourself passing away, then notice your strength and vigor returning at an alarming rate, please attempt to restrain yourself to prevent infection and harm to others.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

SpudRider
05-05-2009, 02:07 PM
My favorite quote from the "article":

If you feel yourself passing away, then notice your strength and vigor returning at an alarming rate, please attempt to restrain yourself to prevent infection and harm to others.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Yes, that was beautiful! :lol: I am sure the "zombie" would remember this admonition, and restrain himself, after he "returned from the dead." :roll:

Spud :)

warrior91
05-05-2009, 11:19 PM
I think 2/3rds of the guys I work with have it and have had it for a long time as they have shown the Zombie Swineflu symptoms for a very long time now.

.................................................. ..................wait wait......hold up, I forgot that they are union, city employees so its just the normal Zombie work ethics.

sorry


Heeeeyyy! Not all union members make $2500 an hour eating doughnuts ya know!
Unions can get out of hand, but if it weren't for the early unions getting labour laws enacted we'd all be kneeling before our corporate overlords.. at $2 a day..... uh, oh yeah.... we do that anyway. Hmmph, nevermind!

Auto workers who seem to think they are entitled or over worked by operating a button to get a robot to build the cars...and earn 3 times what a "HARDWORKING" hands on labourer who builds quality items makes...

I could be very happy pressing buttons to build substandard goods...

The Zombies are amongst us already...who else would stand by , watch the economy go down the toilet , spend more money to get deeper in the red, and then DEMAND money to keep their businesses running.

My corporation can lose twice as much as I make...I need Taxpayer bailouts.

The rest of us "zombies" don't get bailed out...we change jobs .


Swine flu....If anybody really wanted to stop it, mabey we should have stopped travel outside the country...or return flights...
You can't get it unless you are exposed...No exposure=no infection.

China is nuts to stop pork products that can't transmit...but have good idea on lockdown of travel....but that would get civil libertarians panties in a bunch....until they get sick...

They say aircraft have hepa air filters that remove "airborne" virus etc....but what about touching armrests, bathroom fixtures, or the coughing guy next to you???
The greatest chance of getting it is hand to mucous membrane contact...not breathing!

katoranger
05-06-2009, 08:29 AM
I don't like to fly with the kids. Everytime we fly one of them gets sick.

Just the crowds at the airport and the confines of the airplane. The hepa filters does no good if the people next to you are sick.

Allen

warrior91
05-06-2009, 05:38 PM
I don't like to fly with the kids. Everytime we fly one of them gets sick.

Just the crowds at the airport and the confines of the airplane. The hepa filters does no good if the people next to you are sick.

Allen
Makes sense to me :roll:

It is funny that common sense has given out to relying on big brother telling you what things are safe or not...whether "they" know FOR SURE...or just claim they KNOW... Seems to me most gov't agencies couldn't find their own asses using both hands...let alone second guessing what everyone else should do for their own safety.

BTW a week ago on level 5....world agencies implemented emergency pandemic plans... level 6 just emphasizes things that should have already been done or initiated.


Nobody these days remembers TB, scarlet fever, polio....as scary as any influenza today....but now we have modern science on our side(?)... :wink:

SpudRider
05-06-2009, 07:27 PM
...It is funny that common sense has given out to relying on big brother telling you what things are safe or not...whether "they" know FOR SURE...or just claim they KNOW... Seems to me most gov't agencies couldn't find their own asses using both hands...let alone second guessing what everyone else should do for their own safety...
Amen!

"Those who cannot learn from history are doomed to repeat it."
George Santayana

Spud :(

phil
05-06-2009, 09:30 PM
swine flu, zombie flu, both are only examples of a press gone wild, i talked to my dr this morning he thought the whole thing was funny then he asked how many had died then pointed out that during the season, i assume flu season, that flu a and flu b (sorry i dont know and didnt ask) kills 500 a week. so whos to blame for this the media :evil: why do we have a failing economy, why did we have more shark attacks in fla. a few years back when the shark attacks had really went down 8O well i think people got tired of hearing they are going to lose their job, car or house just because they signed a paper on a loan they could never paid for so the news picked up a flu. then again maybe it all our falt signing loans with variable rates, living beyond our means and mostly believing what we see on the news :idea:would everything be fine ifeveryone acted like nothing were wrong the economy was fine, no flu, no problems

Qingdao
05-08-2009, 12:22 AM
...:idea:would everything be fine ifeveryone acted like nothing were wrong the economy was fine, no flu, no problems

Yes ignorence is bliss, but there is a certain amount of congnazence that is required to make you better apt to deal with problems without FREAKING OUT. Unfortunatly most people spaz when they see change.

Case in point the reason I can't go out and shoot my guns is cause people are afraid that 'O' Bomb is going to ban ammo, so poeple are hording ammo. None for me to play with. Not saying that I am not hording eaither, but I hord smaller amounts... I think.

kmoore
05-08-2009, 08:27 AM
[quote=phil] Case in point the reason I can't go out and shoot my guns is cause people are afraid that 'O' Bomb is going to ban ammo, so poeple are hording ammo. None for me to play with. Not saying that I am not hording eaither, but I hord smaller amounts... I think.

ohhhh so thats why i cant find any plunker rounds for my .380's you're hoarding them all i see lol