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Well, for what it's worth, before growing up into a fat, old guy, I was once ranked 3rd in my age bracket (11-13) in Nor Cal in tennis in my league.....so although I'm pulling for peace in the situation, I'm leaning your tennis side........
Pickle ball to me, looks like Tennis Light. Like Cornhole is to actual horseshoes. The puffier side of the sport. Can't spill the Zin, you know!
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"Light a fire for a man, and you heat him for a day. Light a man on fire, and you heat him for the rest of his life."
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